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Talking to Your Veteran about Hearing Loss

If you have a loved one who is a former service member with untreated hearing loss, talking to your veteran about hearing loss may seem daunting. It’s possible that the challenges resulting from the hearing loss weigh more on your mind than on theirs. Sure, most veterans would rather pursue treatment on their own schedule, or take the advice of another veteran with hearing loss. However, you may need to be the one to start the conversation about hearing loss in order to get your veteran to move forward. 

Maybe the veteran in your life is not aware of the hearing loss or has decided to just live with it or simply has difficulty seeking treatment for health issues (to learn why, read the article here). Either way, starting the conversation is the first step toward treatment that can lead to significant improvements in their quality of life—and yours! Here are five steps to consider before talking to your veteran about hearing loss that may help the conversation go a bit more smoothly:

Prepare for the conversation

  • Pick a day and time when you both can have the conversation without rushing
  • Choose a quiet, private, well-lit place to talk
  • Be compassionate – remember that communication challenges resulting from hearing loss or other conditions are not your veteran’s fault

Begin in the conversation

  • If your veteran is unaware or in denial of their hearing loss, mention that you’ve noticed signs that hearing may be an issue. You might say, “I often need to repeat myself and raise my voice before you can understand what I say. Do you have trouble hearing?” or “I’ve noticed you watch TV with the volume turned up high. Is it because you can’t hear it well at lower levels?”
  • If your veteran is aware of the problem but not addressing it, you could say, “I recognize that treating your hearing loss is not a top priority for you, but it might be easy to treat and could make a big difference. What do you think?”
  • After talking, let the veteran know you’d be happy to help schedule a hearing test and offer to go with them to the appointment.

Point out the benefits of treatment

If your veteran still needs convincing, offer up some of these ideas that might help encourage them:

  • Treatment can make listening easier, less tiring and more fun
  • Others to speak loudly or repeat themselves as much
  • You can use the phone with much less frustration with technologies such as a captioned telephone. Learn more here
  • You can listen to television and music at normal volume levels with assistive technologies
  • Job performance may increase where you previously struggled
  • You may be able to hear emergency alarms and alerting sounds where previously you may not have been able to
  • Your situational awareness will be greater
  • Overall, improving your ability to hear may make life richer

Give your reasons

It’s important to let your veteran know how you feel and how their hearing loss impacts you and your loved ones. Take cues from examples on this list

  • I feel frustrated when I need to constantly raise my voice or repeat myself so you can hear me
  • I feel burned out when I have to repeat what others say so you can understand
  • I feel uncomfortable when I need to raise my voice when we talk in public
  • I worry that you are losing touch with friends and family because of your hearing loss
  • I worry when you don’t answer your phone, even though I know you probably just didn’t hear it

And finally, don’t give up

If your veteran refuses to address the issue, there are a few more things you can do:

  • Wait for a better time to bring up the subject – if circumstances change, the veteran may be more open to doing something about the situation
  • Stop doing things (for a short time) that allow the veteran to function without treatment – for example:
    • do not speak loudly
    • do not repeat yourself, and
    • do not make phone calls for him or her.

By not making things easier, you will give the veteran a chance to see how hearing loss affects others.

  • When it seems like a good time to bring up the subject again, schedule an appointment to have your own hearing tested and offer to help schedule an appointment for the veteran, too
  • Enlist the help of another veteran friend or family member who has taken steps to address their hearing loss

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